About Vicki
I’m a Love, Dating and Relationship coach, Certified Practitioner of EFT (Tapping) and NLP, former Dating and Relationship expert for Match.com and passionate advocate of Attachment Theory.
For the past 10 years, I’ve supported over a thousand women through the ups and downs of modern dating.
Week in and week out, I am so moved by the courage it takes to love and be loved.
The courage it takes to risk rejection,
The courage it takes to be vulnerable.
The courage it takes to be seen and known.
To help clients create healthy relationships where they feel safe, seen and loved is one of the best things about my job.
My mission is to help big-hearted women to raise their standards and create loving and fulfilling relationships that enrich their lives.
My story
From an early age I have been both curious and fascinated by love.
Like a lot of people, I didn’t grow up seeing a healthy model of a loving and secure relationship.
From the relationships that I witnessed growing up to the fairytales, pop songs and rom coms that I consumed, I learnt that true love was about finding a ‘happily ever after’ and having someone to rescue you and complete you.
As someone with an anxious attachment style, I lost myself in relationships time and time again.
I expected my partner to complete me and could never understand why my relationships were always a source of anxiety, drama and disappointment.
Why they would consume all of my headspace, and still always feel like something was missing?
Then I realised that what was missing was me.
It was there that I started to question and challenge my understanding of love and how I show up in relationships.
I embarked on a journey of self discovery, healing and self love.
I learnt about the things I need in a relationship to feel safe and secure and I learnt how to express my needs and feelings to my partner.
I learnt how to prioritise my happiness, regulate my emotions and be a kind and loving friend to myself.
I learnt how to self soothe and heal my anxious attachment style.
And it changed everything.
Through a journey of self compassion and self understanding, I learnt to stop abandoning myself in love.
What I’ve learnt, from my clients and from my own transformation, is that the way to more inner peace and joy in our love lives is by healing our relationship with ourselves first. Because transformation starts from within and when we heal our hearts, the rest will follow.
All it takes is a little courage, a little humour and the willingness to learn and grow.
Six things about me
01
I geek out on Attachment Theory.
Ever since learning about Attachment Theory in a Psychology class 20 years ago, I’ve been hooked! The way we date, love and relate to others is largely influenced by our style of attachment and learning about my own attachment style helped me to understand why I felt so anxious in relationships. Secure attachment offers a beautiful framework for healing and growth. I am currently training in Somatic Attachment Therapy.
02
In 2016 I married my husband Pav.
We were friends first. Until I wrote his ‘My Single Friend’ (remember that!?) dating profile and then realised that I wanted to date him... Luckily he never went live with his profile! We’ve been together for 12 years ❤️.
03
I am obsessed with dogs.
In 2013, Pav and I fell in love with a dog in the same week that we got engaged on a beach in Koh Lipe, Thailand. We affectionately called him Buddy as we were his friends on the beach and he was ours. When we got home we couldn’t stop thinking about him so after very little consideration, we made the huge decision to adopt him. In the 9 amazing years we were privileged enough to share with him, he taught me more about unconditional love than I could have learnt anywhere else.
04
I am a lifelong learner and lover of love.
My happy place is reading about love and relationships and what it means to live a meaningful and connected life. I draw inspiration from the the likes of bell hooks, Brene Brown, Sarah Blondin, Glennon Doyle, The Gottmans, Alain de Botton and Esther Perel.
05
It all started with Project Love…
In 2013, I co-founded Project Love with beloved friend and biz wife Selina Barker. As a love coach and life coach duo, we went on the most incredible adventure together, supporting the most gorgeous community of women. In our 8.5 year journey, we ran a self love challenge called ‘28 days of love’ for 7 years, we sent out 1000+ daily quotes on love, we recorded 150 Project Love podcast episodes (which enjoyed over half a million downloads and a live podcast at Liberty). We did talks at the likes of Frame and Soho House. We celebrated the Goodbye, Hello journals achieving the Amazon bestseller list and being stocked at the likes of Oliver Bonas and The Tate and we created two online courses, including ‘Get Ready for Love’ which helped 700 women to transform their love lives. I am so immensely proud of what we built! 💃🏻💃🏻
06
I believe that most things can be remedied with outdoor swimming!
I am currently in the honeymoon phase of my love affair with outdoor swimming. It is the BEST way to start the day. It’s an amazing source of exercise but what I love the most is the sense of community and belonging that I feel at my local lido. One of the lifeguards said you can see the difference in people’s faces and overall energy before vs after a swim. He is right! The ultimate happiness booster.
Professional bio
Vicki Pavitt is a Love, Dating and Relationship coach in London, UK who helps big-hearted women to date wholeheartedly and love with courage.
For the past 10 years, Vicki has helped over a thousand women to navigate the ups and downs of modern dating with her compassionate approach. Her mission is to create a world where dating is kind and intentional, where relationships are loving and fulfilling and where we all have the courage to love and be loved.
In her work as a Love Coach, the co-founder of Project Love and the former Dating and Relationship expert for Match.com, she’s been featured in the likes of Grazia, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Marie Claire, Stylist, The Independent, The Daily Telegraph, Red, Metro, Guardian, BBC Radio, Psychologies, Radio Headspace and the Evening Standard. She has worked with brands such as Liberty, Converse, Soho House, Frame, Airbnb, Match, Hinge and Sonos.
Vicki is a licensed Master NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) Practitioner, a certified Advanced EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique / Tapping) Practitioner, a BSc Psychology graduate and a lifelong learner in the field of Psychology, personal development, love and relationships. She is currently training in Somatic Attachment Therapy.
For 8 years, Vicki co-hosted the Project Love Podcast alongside friend and co-host Selina Barker, delivering lively podcast episodes of deep and meaningful conversations on life and love. The podcast enjoyed over half a million downloads globally.
In 2020, Project Love were named by the Evening Standard as 'London's fresh-start coaches' and were featured on Cosmopolitan's Positivity Index as one of the top 27 'joyful game changers' on Instagram (alongside Jameela Jamil and Sinead Burke). The Project Love end-of-year journal ‘Goodbye, Hello’ (published by Pavilion) was an Amazon bestseller and stocked at the likes of; Asos, Oliver Bonas, The Tate, National Theatre and Amazon.
Vicki is a lover of 80’s pop, buying more books than she can read, drinking a ridiculous amount of Yorkshire tea and hearing people’s love stories. She lives in London with her husband Pav and their rescue dog Bobby.
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